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Friends Worth Having

Hey kids. I haven't posted in a while so I thought I'd give it a whirllll. Recently I've been troubled by friendships. For the longest time I was guilty of not making an effort to keep in contact with people...this is especially true in high school. Any high school friends I speak to now is none of my doing whatsoever. So, maybe this is karma... Well, one of my closest friends in college has become a chore to get in touch with. (This does not apply to anyone reading this) This friend now lives in Virgina, so usually when I call she's busy and she will say she will call me back later that same evening. Nope. A week and half later I end up calling back wondering if she is still alive. I know I'm not the only person she has done this to, but it makes me wonder. I'm not in the mood to put forth energy on someone for a friendship they appear not to care to have in the first place. Maybe this is wrong of me to say, but I'm tired. As I grow older I want to maintain friendships with people who care to be my friend in return. I just know that once a month I call to see how her life is going. I believe the last time she called me was four days after my birthday last april to apologize for forgetting my birthday....yeeah.

Sorry if this sounds way out of line, but I'm just tired of it. I think it's ridiculous that you can't trust one of your best friends to return your phone call within two weeks of phoning them...

I get it that everyone is busy. I'm busy...for God Sakes it's my first year of teaching special education, I'm planning a wedding and Matt and I are looking into buying a home. I just feel you make time for what you believe is important. Maybe I just need to realize that other people do not have the same priorities.

Someone help me out on this.


Life isn't fair

So, the guy I mentioned in my last post....Jeremy....he passed away early this morning. He was doing so well...and everyone was so hopeful after the surgery.

I am really hoping that one day God will explain this all to me. I'm not mad, just really hurt for his family and close close friends. I didn't even know him that well, I just know everyone is hurting.

Life is Funny....but not really...

So, life has been interesting lately. My family and Matt's mom came to visit this past weekend to look at bridesmaid dresses. They were all beautiful and I think I found one that will make all of the girls feel comfortable and pretty. On a later note, Matt's mom also mentioned while we were out (just the girls) that Matt's grandmother may have Ovarian cancer and that she was going to be tested soon. Nothing is definite, but when I mentioned this to Matt later on he had no idea. It made me really sad. She's 90 years old, but it's Matt's father's Mother.....death always makes me sad, and rightly so I feel. Anyways....not to keep with the depressing theme of this update by this past weekend you may have heard that there were a lot of fires in Rochester. One of which was at the apartment of one of Matt's teammates from his summer soccer league. The guy was pulled from his apartment unconscious and then revived in the ambulance, only to crash again in the ER, and be revived again. I should mention that he was not burned, but due to the extreme smoke inhalation his life in a serious state of flux. Since Sunday it's been a roller coaster ride. They currently have this guy on a machine that pumps oxygen (not a respirator) that while keeping him alive while his lungs heal is also killing him slowly. So the eventual goal within the next few days is to removed him from this machine and transfer to a respirator. This morning, the latest was that he went into surgery for the removal of built-up potassium only to discover that his tissue was so damaged by the smoke inhalation that they had to amputate both of his legs in an effort to save his life. The surgery was considered a success, but he still has a long way to go. Even though I've only spoken to this guy a few times, if anyone out there does pray; please do so for him. He's such a funny, goofy guy that is always making others laugh on his team, and it's just really saddening and unfortunate that something like this had to happen.

In other news, my Save the Dates are in and they look nice. I'm excited. Yay for getting married.

Wedding Dresses....Le Sigh

So, today I met with Matt's friends' mother who used to own her own Bridal Shop in Spencerport. I was hoping to possibly get a discount if I ordered the dress I want through her, but by the time she goes through another bridal shop to get it...it will be approximately the same price so it's not even worth it. I did look at the gowns she had there though. She had this one dress that was very pretty, and had it been in white, I would have bought it then and there. The dress was "cream" which means it looked like a soft brown on the hanger. I don't know how I feel about wearing another color other than white on my wedding day. In the words of my Mennonite Grandmother: "Sarah, it will look like you have been doing something immoral".....makes sense, not to mention...even if a cream color looks better with my skin, my family won't get the recent trend when it comes to wedding dresses....soooo in other words, instead of appreciating the dress for its color and style they will slowly berate it simply because it's not white.
In addition, the only reason why I was considering that cream dress was because she was willing to give it to me for four hundred dollars because of who I'm marrying which is awesome, but...then again, I would be buying off the rack and I hate that. I also read a review about her that her alterations are not that great....I don't know, when I talked to Matt about the dresses he said I needed to get the dress that would make me happy regardless of price...(he's so smart....:o)...So is it silly to spend two grand on a wedding dress? Most likely. But who the hell cares..if I want a designer dress and I can afford it for my Wedding, then why the hell not you know? It is a lot of money and sure, it could be put to better use like a down-payment on a house....but I'm only getting married once, might as well make it one hell of a good party! That and let's face it...it is all about the dress...


Ugh. I woke up with a wicked sore throat this morning. It sucks...I thought it would just go away, and now the whole back of my neck is tight and sore. I took some advil, and decided that since Matt is away all week doing training for work near Syracuse, I would just complete Emily's survey.

1. The phone rings. Who do you want it to be?
Anyone but Geico. --By the way they told me that they are getting 85% of my deductible back, so in total, the accident I was in last month cost me 75 dollars. Whatever, so apparently I was 15% to blame for the accident I was in? Whatever that means???

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
You know, yesterday I went to bed bath and beyond and pulled into a parking spot and saw that someone left their cart in the space next to me. This really pisses me off...seriously people return your damn carts. So, in the process of going to the store I wanted to, I returned the cart which actually went to the store next to Bed Bath and Beyond....

3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?
I'm more of a listener...it really depends on how many people are there. Two, I'm about fifty-fifty...any more than that and I turn into the listener.

4. Do you take compliments well?
No. I'm really starting to hate attention. (weird, huh?) I got my hair done a week ago and the gay hairdresser next to me said that I looked like Jessica Simpson, and the guy who was getting his hair done just looked embarassed because he was straight, and then because of his hairdressers comment he was kind of forced to give me a compliment as well.....I find that it's just awkward. It's really rare I think to find a genuinely nice person, which is why most compliments I receive are from from strangers, so I have the tendency not to believe.

5. Do you play Sudoku?
I've played a few times, but I'm not addicted.

6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive?
I've been watching a lot of Man vs Wild because of Matt, so I would like to think that all of that knowledge would come back to me in a survival situation...but...I doubt it. I would most likely die cold and alone.

7. Do you like nipple rings?
Nope, not really my thing.

8. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
I always went to Soccer Camp....

9. What was your favorite game as a kid?
My favorite game to play was when my parents kept telling us that we were poor, and then I would have to be all sneaky and check my mom's purse, which always had plenty of money, just to make sure we had enough to buy food. That always freaked me out. Another great game was when my parents told me that ear wax was "bird poop." I never could quite figure out how bird's could poop in your ears....again, this is why I walked around with ear muffs on for most of my childhood...even in summer.

10. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was married what would you do?
Tell them off. I'm a really big biotch when I want to be.

12. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?
Date yes, marry probably not. My grandma would kill me. As much as it shouldn't matter, it does. My grandma and my sister got in a debate about homosexuals a few thanksgivings ago.

13. Do you like to pursue or be pursued?
I like to be pursued, but not by strangers.

14. Use three words to describe yourself?
should be married

15. Do any songs make you cry?
A lot of songs make me cry. Especially if I'm by myself driving, and feeling sentimental. Which reminds me...Reign Over Me...if you haven't seen this movie it made me ball like a baby...I have never cried so much during a film ever.

16. Are you continuing your education?
I thought about going for my PHD, but seriously, I really don't have the drive for it right now, and I probably won't for a while. I think it's one of those things that as time passes I will be less and less likely to do it. To tell you the truth, life is moving so quickly, I think my days of formal education are over.

17. Do you know how to shoot a gun?
No, but Matt's mom taught me how to use mace. (I don't know if that's how you spell it...)

18. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed?
Seriously, depends on the time of day. If it's in the middle of the night, I have the tendency to be really distorted when I wake up, so I have no idea...it will be a toss up between my bath towel hanging on the door and the pictures I just bought at bed bath beyond.

19. How often do you read books?
Not so much right now. Work has me pretty busy.

20. Do you think more about the past, present or future?
Past. I have the tendency to dwell on things. I need to stop that. I also have this anxiety issue where I worry too much about the future and things I can't control.

21. Favorite children's book?
Funny story, I was asked this question for my work bio and I said "I'll Love You Forever" so since Emily already but it...I will say...."One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish" by Dr. Seuss.

22. What color are your eyes?

23. How tall are you?

24. Do you have a crush on Bill Nye the Science Guy?
Who told you?

27. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth?
Once in fifth grade at Six Flags in Dallas, Texas...my sister and I were running for President that day in the booth....

28. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?
Wow...it's been a really long time. Last time.....maybe like six or seven months. It's always packed in Henrietta and I hate waiting.

30. Where was the furthest place you traveled today?
To Dunkin Donuts for breakfast...which I later found out is someplace Matt doesn't like to get breakfast because they always screw up his order and the hot chocolate tastes weird.

32. Do you like mustard?
Does Honey Mustard count? I like mustard on McDonald's burgers ...when it's mixed with ketchup so I can get a hint of hte taste but I'm not overdosing on mustard....so to speak.

33. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?
Right now....sleep. Normally, I enjoy eating.

34. Do you look like your mom or dad?
My build is more of mother's and face is more like my father's....I've received mixed opinions.

35. How long does it take you in the shower?
Before work: 15 minutes,...on the weekend I usually take a bath for a hour.

36. Can you do the splits?
Sure, but then I would need surgery to fix my crotch.

37. What movie do you want to see right now?
27 Dresses. I saw it in the theaters and it was really cute.

39. What did you do for New Year's?
went to one of matt's friends' place. It was pretty relaxed. Saw some people I hadn't seen in a while.

40. Do you think The Frighteners was scary?
Never saw it.

42. Do you own a camera phone?
I do, but I really don't use it that much.

44. Was your mom a cheerleader?
actually my mom was a baton twirler for her high school band....she threw metal sticks and I guess she was kind of a big deal at it?

45. What's the last letter of your middle name?

47. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
My whole sleep issues have actually subsided and I get about 7 or 8 hours now.

48. Do you like care bears?
Was never really into them, but I think when my kids talk about them it's cute.

49.What do you buy at the Movies?
I usually pay for the tickets for Matt and myself and that's it. Usually we have dinner before so we never end up getting food and therefore never get ripped off.

50. Do you know how to play poker?
I can play Texas Holdem, and that's about it.

51.Do you wear your seatbelt?

52. What do you wear to sleep?
in winter, most of the time I wear sweat pants and a t-shirt. Sometimes, I'll admit however, that I just sleep in my underwear. I'm really lazy.

53. Anything big ever happen in your hometown?
Um....Charlie from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is a large animal veterinarian there....I think that's kind of a big deal....

55. Is your tongue pierced?

56. Do you like Liver and Onions?

57. Are you in love?

58. Do you like funny or serious people better?
I prefer funny. However sometimes I need to exposed to serious.

59. Ever been to L.A.?
No, farthest I got was Las Vegas.

61. Do you visit GoofyAuctions.com daily?

62. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads?
I haven't been downloading anything in a while. However I did just pay for one music download on itunes for the first time.

63. Do you hate chocolate?
No...... I adore it.

64. What do you and your parents fight about the most?
My life, and usually who has control over it. It hasn't happened in a while though since I moved to Rochester, I think there is more a mutual understanding that I'm old enough to handle things myself.

65. Are you a gullible person?
Sometimes. But I would say not usually...I'm not really sure about this. It definitely can go both ways.

66. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy?
Most likely. I can't even remember how it was for me to be single to tell you the truth. It was so long ago, so I have no idea how well I would fair being single again.

67. If you could have any job (assuming you have the skills) what would it be?
I would be the CEO of a major fashion magazine just so I could look good and make money.

68. Are you easy to get along with?
hmm I don't really know. I would have to say that I am difficult to get along with. I'm pretty picky about who I share my time with.

69. What is your favorite time of day?
the moment I get home form work and I can sit down on the couch and relax and have my mind be a complete blank for about 5 minutes.


So kids, it's time once again to read about the awesome life that is Sarah-The-Unemployed. Well, not really. I have a job, just not the one I went to school for five years for.....

In all honesty, it's not THAT bad. For the time being I have a well-paying job that's going to help me save up, and I get to apply/substitute wherever I want. This will definitely help me decide next year what school I want to apply to etc etc. It's a little early for substitute teachers. Not that many teachers take days off the second week of school. I'm hoping to fill out some more substitute teacher applications over the next few weeks. This way I can get a feel for what's around these-here parts. It's definitely scary being in a new area; applying to schools that I've never stepped foot in before.

The apartment is coming along. After I get paid tomorrow I want to take the weekend and find some more home decor stuff. Maybe buy some pictures/paintings and new curtains for the living room. I'm really happy with how everything is looking. I moved the living room furniture around today, much to Matt's dismay. However, I did it by myself (during my lunch break) while he was at work, so it wasn't too much trouble for him anyways. All he did was come home and sigh that I had moved furniture around. I wasn't one of those girlfriends who yells directions and makes the boy move furniture. It was something I wanted to do, so I did it.

Anyway...Matt and I decided to go (I told Matt we were going..) to Bethany's partay. It should be a lot of fun; I get to hang out with some cool kids and drink Hawaiian-themed drinks. After all, anything worth doing is worth doing right. Or however that saying goes....

Well, it's time for me to fix my evening drink. (Grape or Orange Kool-Aid) The sky is the limit so who knows.

On a more random note....despite how much crap Britney's been catching lately, I kinda like her new song?? It has grown on me....however if you ask me this in person I'll probably deny it.



You know what I find amazing, is that after five years, families of the victims still, with such composure, can get on TV and share their stories. I'm sure it helps with a camera, but I'd be hysterical. I started balling just listening to their stories of losing loved ones. How some received phone calls; one phone call ended up being recorded on an answering machine because he wasn't home at the time his wife called to say goodbye.

This is the second time I've cried today over 9.11, simply because I couldn't even begin to imagine the pain that some are going through today, and every other day for that matter. I cried this morning as I read news reports, and now watching TV specials is even worse. I feel like a pansy, but I'm an emotional circus right now, so I'm saying it's allowed. Then to even begin to think about how many lives have been lost because of war....sometimes, there are just too many painful things to think about.

Alright, that's enough for now. I have to get a grip.

Bag of Ridiculousness

Today was an interesting day at work, but before I get into that I must state: The War on Skankateers has been expanded to pretty much anywhere there's a skank who needs to be stomped.
Anyway, so today I had some test engineer email me....through our company network, to ask me if I wanted to go out for drinks with him sometime. ahahahaha, who emails someone THROUGH their company network to ASK THEM OUT? This is further evidence that men are a bag of ridiculousness....especially since I've been in training with him for the past three days straight....it's not like he hasn't seen me around....
Yeah, so, being the bitch I am, I didn't email him back because anyone who pulls that crap doesn't deserve a response.
So it started this past monday at work, where for the next two weeks, I need to sit in during this Computer Control Brake training crap that goes on all day long. I'm using the digital video camera and recording everyone, this way when I go to create my own training sessions, I can always insert video clips...much better than a dry PowerPoint....well anyway, I found out today that next week's sessions may be moved to Kingston...in Canada...so that means I will be in Canada all next week staying at a hotel, with ten other boys. One of which, still thinks he has a shot at taking me out for drinks...ahhhhh, God must have a great sense of humor.

I'm not sure if I'm definitely going, but from what I've heard, I think it's a go. I really don't want to go, it'll be lonely, and I'll be Canada all by myself, with creepy boys. Out of the 10 going, there are about four that I talk to regularly, so it won't be so bad, plus, they already told me I could hang out with them. Still.....it's going to be weird.....maybe I should just bring a laptop and stay in my room the whole time.....

It's Not Me, It's Everyone Else...

Yeah so welcome to hell. I'm definitely bitching right now so here goes...
On Saturday some high-schooler stops in so that shay can do her hair for prom, she then asks me if I want to be on her summer league team, I said.."yeah," not really giving it much thought. So last night I decided, I don't really feel like playing.
It's summer league...no one cares. Well, Matt was all yippy skippy about it because he's in love with soccer, so when I told him I changed my mind he went into this thing about how he hated when people did that to him when he was trying to set up league play. First off, this is Women's League, age range; seniors in high-school through 30 years of age....Second, no one CARES! Third, I have so much disdain for soccer because of past experiences I have found myself much happier not playing at all.
I think he missed the point. Yeah, I might play a pick up game sometime in my future, but it's no way in hell going to be anytime soon. So of course, when he asked why I wasn't playing I said, "I'm over it." It's my little way of saying, I've grown up, and I want more in my life besides soccer. Me saying "I'm over it" to soccer is like taking Matt's baby and drowning it in a tank of water. He said he doesn't care what I do, but I know what it comes down to......he just recently started training for soccer again...so the idea of being invited to be on a summer league team probably has him jealous that I could play if I wanted, but pissed, because I choose not to.

WTF Mate.


Taking Back My Life

Today was perfect. Exactly what I needed to feel useful again. I had a physical at NYAB, and then some drug testing. After, Ireturned home to run some errands; including dropping off the registration money for matt and myself in an upcoming soccer tournament benefit. (It's for a graduate of my hometown school who was recently diagnosed with Cancer)

This evening, I helped fix dinner, then helped my dad uncover the pool. I also found time to fill out some paperwork for work, and finalize my loan plans. I will be getting $20 an hour this summer as a Technical Assistant....Praise Jesus.

Tonight my sister and I jumped on the old trampoline, did an ab work out, and then went running....and here I sit. In about 30 minutes I will have to run down to drop off matt's birth certificate to his mother...but other than that, day 1 of feeling useful is complete.